Underwrite Your Life

Red Onion Mashed Potatoes

You may wonder: how can you possibly screw up mashed potatoes? They are mashed potatoes for Christ’s sake- it’s not rocket science! Well, apparently, it’s too hard for my little brain because I thought adding Vanilla Almond Milk would be an acceptable substitute for heavy cream or literally anything else. Then I froze them. It MIGHT have been ok if I didn’t try to freeze them first… maybe. But the vanilla almond milk flavor with the horrible texture after thawing was just hilariously bad.

That being said… I did eat it. Maybe I am just too hungry or a total cheapskate but dammit I ate those potatoes every day this week. For that, I am proud.

So you can stop reading here, I’m not sure why you would want instructions on how to make the world’s worst mashed potatoes.

Mashed Potato Ingredients
90% Carbs
9%Protein
1% Fat











Ingredients Amount Cost (USD) Protein (g) Carbs (g) Fat (g) Calories (kcal)
Red Potato 1057 grams $2.50 21g 211g 0g 785 cal
Red Onion 0.5 onion $0.50 1g 6g 0g 25 cal
Almond Milk 0.5 cup $0.19 1g 1g 2g 15 cal
Garlic Salt 2 tsp $0.10 0g 0g 0g 4 cal
Total - - $3.28 22g 218g 2g 829 cal
Total/Meal — — $0.55 4g 36g 0g 138 cal

Step 1

As usual, the first thing I did was weigh out my potatoes and chop the red onion.

Weighted Potatoes and Chopped Onion

Step 2

Next, I boiled the red potatoes for about 25 minutes (until entirely soft). I drained the water, added the almond milk and red onion, then used a fork to mash the entire mixture together.

Once it was fully incorporated, I let it cool, packed it in a huge ziplock bag, and froze the entire thing since I knew I wasn’t going to be eating it for another week.

1/10 would not recommend putting almond milk into your mashed potatoes. Obviously.

Boiling potatoes, adding ingredients, and mashing it all together